My niece, Ananya, was singing her favorite rhyme, "If you are happy and you know it clap your hand". I thought for a second. I was visiting my nieces and having a great time with them. I was relaxed that weekend and was off. I told myself "Of course I am happy". Then I proceeded to clap my hands.
That night I asked myself what being happy really was all about. Merriam Webster dictionary defines happy as "enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment".
I asked myself, "Is being happy a transient state of mind or is it a feeling deep inside of joy and completeness?". In other words can one be happy in a particular moment while at the same time brooding over something or worrying about something? In a nutshell what is happiness and more specifically what is happiness to me?
Deep inside I was upset by the politics of caste and division back home, worrying about the falling US dollar (in which most if not all of my life savings is), missing my parents zillions of miles away, stressing over the seemingly elusive green card and anxiously anticipating the humongous pay cut that I am going to take in the near future as I start my nephrology training. At the same time I was playing with these two gorgeous nieces of mine simply smitten by their playfulness also thankful to God that I was not living too far from my sister( and sister-in-law) thereby able to visit my(and my wife's)nieces.
It is precisely this inability to define and hence achieve total happiness that leaves mankind in an eternal search of happiness. While one may never find total happiness, that shouldn't prevent anyone from having fun and enjoying and living life by the moment.
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What a coincidence-today, on an impulse, I looked up 'happiness' on google- did it mean that I was happy or not (probably jobless is the best answer!!)? I agree- it is entirely possible to feel happy about certain things and unhappy about others at the same time.
I had the same sense of gratification watching my older daughter squeal with delight as she did baby rides all by herself in the beach carnival last weekend-I felt that I could not be happier!
At the same time, we have zillions of tiny (and some not so tiny) reasons to fret about. Almost as a confession, I realize that while I could be unhappy about quite a number of things, not one seems big enough (thankfully!) right now to put down in words.
Which is why I feel that happiness, while is the result of all our circumstances, is also determined by how we choose to respond to our circumstances. Like stress, it is a reaction to our situation and so, to that extent, is in our own hands.
If, in the balance, we have more blessings (close knit family, though far away, near enough in our thoughts, emotional and financial security, good health etc) to count than unpleasant events/situations to recount, we (subconsciously) make a decision - to clap our hands!
Hi srini I am Siddharth, Gayathri s batch mate from dental school, forgive me for taking the liberty to scribble on your blog without permission but this is a favourite topic of mine and i couldnt desist.
From a pure hindu philosophical view point happiness is a state of mind and more a question of how we react to a situation (as G3 has mentioned). For eg I perform a surgery and expect to be paid 200 $ - if i am paid 500$ I am delighted , if i am paid 100$ I am disappointed. To achieve absolute happiness therefore (if we go by the scriptures) is to achieve 'pratyahara' and ultimately react dispassionately to all events.
Recently though i have also been reading the works of people like R Winston, S Pinker and wonder wether that is acheivable at all - wether we need to simply accept happiness and sadness are part of human existence and absolute happiness is a myth.
Now that i have suitably confused the issue , I will end this with a short list of books to read (if you have time that is ) . Even if they dont give you an answer they are very interesting read -
Raja Yoga - Swami Vivekananda
How the mind works - Steven Pinker
Human Mind - Robert Winston
Human Instinct - R Winston
Thanks for weighing in on the subject. Keep the comments coming.
Hey Srini! This really is a very interesting topic. I don't have much to quote except that in 'teenage mutant ninga turtles' the wise ancient master once said that happiness is a state of mind. I personally think the same. The secret to being happy is to just be. There's not much more to it. Thinking too much about it is probably what makes man unhappy.
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