Dictionary.com defines nostalgia as "a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time". If you go by that definition or by your own experience it is a form of selective memory. I call it selective because you are only nostalgic about the things or people you like. When you are nostalgic about a time or place you do not factor in the negative experiences that you had which caused you to move out of that time or situation in the first place.
When I think of my college days in Stanley I think only about the basketball games, long conversations that ran well into wee hours of the night with friends or the movies that I went out with my buddies. I do not think about the stress of succeeding in life, the pressures of not making any money when your engineering friends have started climbing the corporate ladder, the fact that you had examiners who were tainted with prejudice and caste feelings or the fact that you were still dependent on your parents for daily expenses and needs. I would like to think that when I make an important life changing decision I would be able to block out nostalgia. I know that it is easier said than done
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In day-to-day relationships, my experience with the people I have interacted with (either as family/friends/colleagues or acquaintances) has been that the things that stand out the most are the nicest gestures on one hand and on the other, relatively obnoxious events. People are nice most of the time, when everything is smooth, it is only when stressed, pressures bring out the the best or the worst in them and that affects relationships.
On the other hand, we tend to subconsciously wipe out unpleasant memories about places/people in the long term (may be this is indeed good for survival!) and always remember the pleasant ones- and may be this is because we are more aware of the unpleasant aspects of our present lives and readily tend to compare our present day difficulties with our past happy memories.
On the other hand, if we do not recollect the sore events, then probably, the nicer memories were indeed stronger while we merely took the rest in our stride and learnt to move on.
Whether a true behavioural adaptation or just human nature (other side of the grass is green), it may be a blessing that happier moments from our past linger..
Good post.
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